PERSPECTIVE| Same Storm, Different Ships: How We’re All Getting Through COVID-19 Differently

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It’s a massive understatement to say that this is one of the most uncertain times of our lives.

Many stores and offices are closed, a number of people are working from home, or not working at all, or risking their lives to work- all examples of how COVID-19 has disrupted our sense of normalcy. Every day we’re inundated with so much information (and misinformation), it can be hard to consume the news without it consuming you.

Because many of us are staying at home to stop the virus from spreading, days can be a unique mix of mundane and terrifying. For me, there have been many deceptively “normal” moments; whether I was talking to a friend on the phone or watching TV, I was almost able to put this crisis out of my mind — until I couldn’t. Inevitably, I would be reminded that a deadly virus is claiming thousands of lives around the world, and nobody knows when — or if — we’ll return to a reality that resembles ours from early this year. One of the things I’ve heard a lot during this time is people urging each other to spend their extra free time on maximizing their productivity or risk wasting a golden opportunity to do so. But this isn’t a retreat: it’s a pandemic. It’s perfectly fine if you don’t spend every waking moment at peak productivity.

It’s humbling to see how COVID-19 is affecting people’s lives worldwide. In a matter of months, it has dramatically changed how most people live and interact with each other. While this pandemic is a global one that infects people of all identities and backgrounds, it’s crucial to understand that it’s not affecting everyone in the same way. The fact that COVID-19 disproportionately affects African-American communities highlights that the systemic inequalities people face don’t go away during disasters: they get worse. Because of this, and countless other examples, the well-intentioned phrase, “We’re all in this together!” (that people commonly use to promote unity during this time) isn’t totally accurate. Although we are experiencing the same crisis at the same time, we are all experiencing it differently.

Whether we can identify what they are or not, many of us are dealing with profound losses, so we should be patient with ourselves. No matter what your loss from this pandemic is, it’s OK to mourn it. This is especially important to keep in mind, because during a time with such a high death toll, it can seem insensitive or even disrespectful to complain about anything less than the loss of life. However, losing a job, a project, or your general sense of normalcy, are all significant and worthy of feeling upset about. Grief isn’t a zero-sum game, so your feelings don’t take away from the feelings of others.

The concept of us all being in this crisis together is flawed, but the ideal it represents is powerful. This pandemic has shown how interconnected our lives are and that our actions can have tremendous consequences for other people. Over the past couple of months, there have been countless inspirational examples of people uniting in ways we haven’t seen before to teach students, find creative ways to stay in touch, and provide food and medical equipment to those who need it. While so much is uncertain now, it is clear that it’ll take even more of that unprecedented togetherness to combat such an unparalleled pandemic.